Shamelessly stolen from Seneca Doane, who writes:
I am not the author of this diary. It was written by a former (and, it is to be hoped, future) member of this community who went by the handle "The Baculum King." He would revise and repost it annually mid-spring and mid-autumn. He is unable to post the diary these days; I promised him before he left that I would post it for him during his absence, which is discussed at the end of the diary. Use of words such as "I,""me" and "my" below refers to him, not to me.
Many commenters back in the day said that what he had to say here was among the most important material they had read on this site. (The present version is adapted from those two previous linked versions.)
With the holiday season again approaching, his advice is timely again.
Because the turnover on this website is so high, many of you will be reading this for the first time. Pay attention -- this may be a lifesaver.